Something To Live For
by Kari Kurofai
Summary: If you mean nothing to your clan . . . what point is there in living? a JayXBreeze fic. SLASH some firextiger and lionxjay in here too
1. Chapter 1

Jaypaw's ears perked as he heard Berrynose yowl, "what do you think you're doing here?!"Curious, he padded down from the medicine cat's den and came to stand beside his brother in the center of camp. He leaned towards the firey-furred tom and whispered, "what's going on?"

Lionpaw glanced at his brother, "an intruder or something. I can't really see over Berrynose's fat head."

"My head is hardly as fat as your head!" Berrynose retorted. " I think a headghog couldlive in your fat head it's so fat you-"

"Shut up," Jaypaw hissed. He turned back toward's where the "intruder" was crouched,opening his mouth slightly to dronk in the strange cat's scent. "Kestrelpaw?" he pacedforeward until he was before the Windclan cat, "Kestrelpaw, what are you doing here?"

The the tawny furred apprentice looked fearfully at him with yellow eyes, "Jaypaw! Y-you have to help us!"

"What is it?" Leafpool mewed, coming to stand beside her apprentice.

"Windclan is sick!" the apprentice mewed, his voice shaking, "Barkface can't find a cure . . . and . . ." his voice faltered into an anguished squeak, "and a two kits, an elder . . . and an apprentice had already died . . ."

Jaypaw felt his breath catch in his throat. An apprentice . . . had died? He shook himself. Who cares? It was a cat from another clan. Sure it was sad, but . . .

Why was he so worried? He could feel similar fear emminating from Lionpaw.

"W-we'll go and help, right?" he asked.

"Of course, " Leafpool mewed soothingly.

^-^ ^-^ ^-^

Jaypaw could smell the sickness before they even reached the Windclan camp. It reaked of death, and he retched a few times. Slowly, he set down his bundle of herbs as he passed the four bodies in the camp's center.

Cautiously, he flet his paw along hte bodies until he found the apprentice. leaning down, he breathed in the dead cat's scent under the overwheling reak of death. Sighing in relief, he backed away and picked up his herbs again. It wasn't any cat he knew personally, and he could tell Lionpaw that it wasn't Heatherpaw either.

As he followed Leafpool into the Medicane cat's den, he almost gagged again. The small was overpowering here. Quickly, they began to administer herbs to the sick cats. As Jaypaw tried to shove another wad of herbs into a cat's mouth, he heard a soft voice behind him.

"Jaypaw? What are you doing here?"

Jaypaw's heart stopped. There was no mistaking that voice, though now it was weak and lacked it's usually sarcastic tone. "I'm here to help . . . Breezepaw . . ."

Breezepaw glared up at him with amber eyes from where he lay on the ground, "You're late, " he coughed, "Morningflower, Swallowkit, Duckkit, and Thornpaw are already dead . . ." He coughed again, "and soon more . . ."

"Quiet!" Jaypaw snapped. He pushed a wad of herbs into the apprentice's mouth, "swallow that and get some sleep, mousebrain." He walked away and continued on with his duties. So it wasn't until dusk that he made his way back around to Breezepaw.

The black apprentice's breath was shallow and fast. Crowfeather stood over him, a feeling of helplessness eminating from him. "Didn't . . . . Didn't you give him any herbs?" His voice was choked with greif.

"I-I did . . ." Jaypaw's heart was pouding with fear, "It's not working . . ." what was he suposed to do? at this rate, Breezepaw would . . . Breezepaw would . . .

"Jaypaw," Leafpool's voice was clam and close to the tops of his ears, "Can you help him?"

Jaypaw raised his head up towards his mentor. "Are . . . are you sure?" He asked. If Windclan found out his powers . . . But even with that risk, he felt that he would have done it anyway. He stepped over towards the dying aprentice and lay down beside him. closing his eyes, he sped up his breaething to match Breezepaws and let his heart rate slowly drop. As he began to slip into the world of dreams, he heard Crowfeather's voice.

"What's he doing?"

"Saving your son," Leafpool replied.

^-^ ^-^ ^-^

The gray furred medicane cat apprentice opened his eyes to see the endless rolling hills of Windclan territory. His blue eyes scanned the area, but there was no one around. his heart fluttered in fear. "Maybe I' too late . . . " Then, on the hill above him, he noticed a sole black cat standing with his face to the wind.

"Breezepaw!" He called, running up to meet him. he couldn't hold back the relief from his voice, "Breezpaw!"

Breezepaw turned to look at him, "hey, this is Windclan territory. You really shouldn't be here." But he didn't seem really all that bothered by it. quite the opposite from his usual attitude.

"Breezepaw . . . This isn't Widclan." Jaypaw mewed, "Doesn't it seem different to you?" He flicked his tail towards the sky, "the stars . . . can't you see how close they are here?"

The Windclan appretice glanced at the sky, "you're right. That's really weird." Then his eyes met Jaypaw's, shock and excitement reflecting in them. "How did you know that?" He stepped even closer to the Thunderclan cat, "Jay . . . what color are my eyes?"

Jaypaw blinked at the strange shortening of his name, caught off guard, he whispered, "a-amber . . ."

Breezepaw smiled, "you can see?'

"Only when I'm dreaming," he mewed, "Breezepaw, we have to go back. Don't you see? this is the border between Winclan and Starclan."

Breezepaw looked away, unfased by this announcement. "No," he whispered. "I won't go back . . ." His eyes were full of greif now. "No one cares whether I die or not. My clan doesn't want me. My father only needs me to prove his loyalty. No one would care if I just disspeared."

Jaypaw couldn't argue with most of that, but he found himself choking out the words, "Th-that's not true . . ."

"It is true . . ." Breezepaw choked "and you know it . . ." He turned to look at the Thunderclan appretice, his amber eyes shining with tears, " Let me die . . ."

"NO!" Jaypaw burst out, "How could I let you do such a thing? Don't be ridiculous!"

"Why Not?!?!" Breezepaw retorted, "No one needs me! In the eye's of my clan, I'm worthless, I-"

"I need you!"

Breezepaw looked over at the other tom. Jaypaw was standing a few tail lengths away, his beautiful blue eyes streaming with tears. "I . . . I need you Breeze . . ."

"Wh-what are you saying?" Breezepaw whispered, his voice shaking.

"I don't know, " Jaypaw sobbed. "All I know is that . . . when I heard that an apprentice had died . . . I was so scared it was you. And coming here, I kept thinking, 'don't let him die.' I don't know what's wrong with me . . . Up In the mountains . . . something must have happened to me . . . to us. And that's why I can't just let you go Breezepaw! If you die . . ." he tried in vain to blink back more tears, "I need you here with me . . ."

As long as there was just one cat who needed you, that's enough, isn't it? Someone who says that you mean something to them . . . Breezepaw stepped foreward and touched his nose to Jaypaw's. "Thank you . . ."

^-^ ^-^ ^-^

The Windclan apprentices eyes flickered open to see Leafpool standing over him. "Good, you're awake," she mewed. "I finally had to tell your father to go and get some sleep , he wouldn't leave. I'll tell him you're awake if you'd like."

"Th-that's okay." His father had been worried? he was sure it had been a lie. But even so . . . he smiled slightly. "Umm . . . Where's Jaypaw?"

Leafpool's eyes flashed, "he's busy helping the kits over there," she flicked her tail in the direction her apprentice was, "why?"

Breezepaw glaced over to where the gray tom was treating Sedgekit, "I had a dream about him . . ."

"It was just a dream, " Leafpool whispered insistantly.

^-^ ^-^ ^-^

"Thank you so much for all your help, "Onestar mewed, "Windclan would have fallen apart if you hadn't come."

Jaypaw coughed, knowing it wasn't Onestar who'd even sent for them. Barkface had had to beg his leader to send out for help. As he and Leafpool turned to leave, Jaypaw felt a paw bat against the end of his tail. He turned to face the other cat, slightly annoyed, "what."

"Jaypaw, what color are my eyes?" Breezepaw whispered softly in his ear.

Automatically, and without giving any thought to the matter, Jaypaw answered, "amber." Then, horror burst into his mind at what he'd done. "Breeze, y-you can't tell anyone!"

Breezepaw smiled, "about you being able to see in dreams, or about what you said to me on the border of Starclan?"

"The seeing in dreams part!" He snapped. "and . . . uh . . . that other thing too."

"Jaypaw."

"Huh?"

Breezepaw leaned foreward and licked Jaypaw's cheek, "as long as you need me . . . I won't die. Not yet." He pulled away and let amber eyes meet blue. "Thank you."

Jaypaw flet his face growing hot and whirled around to leave. but his paw wouldn't move. "I'm such an idiot . . ." he muttered, "Starclan . . . forgive me. I'm going to break so many parts of the code . . ." he sighed and turned back to the Windclan apprentice. With out a seconed hesitation, he pressed his nose the other's. "I love you . . ." he whispered.

Breezepaw pressed his face into Jaypaw's cheek, "you realize that's bad, right?"

he licked the other tom's forehead, " First off, we're from different clans. Seconed, you're a medicine cat. And third . . . we're both toms." His eye's met Jaypaws, though he knew the other wouldn't be able to tell, " you're fine with all that?"

"I don't care."

"We'll get caught."

"No we won't."

"But Heatherpaw and Lionpaw did."

"Yeah. But . . ." Jaypaw blinked warmly at him, "we can meet in dreams."

RANDOM AUTHOR RAMBLE

Wow. so i got like, four or five requests for more JayBreeze just from my silly little poem . . . wow. I was surprised, thank you guys! I hope to bring even more JayBreeze fans together! (but you'll have to wait for inspiration to strike me after Sunset comes out. And I get to go see Erin! Who dares me to ask her what she thinks of Warriors slash pairings?) I really want to write some FireTiger and BerryBirch fics in the future.


	2. Chapter 2

Something To Live For : Sin

Jayfeather stood deep in the dense undergrowth on the edges of Thunderclan territory. His unseeing eyes blinked at the wind that rolled down from the hills he imagined were just beyond the river he stood before. He wasn't sure how long he'd been standing here, lost in his emotions and thoughts. Had it been minutes? Hours? Days even? No. he hadn't felt the heat of the sun, which meant that he hadn't been out too long. The moon would still be high in the sky at this time of night.

However, that also meant that his absence had been noticed by now. Not necessarily in camp, they'd gotten used to his late night walks. But it would be noticed _there_. And that meant that it wouldn't be long before that someone showed up, which was what he'd been dreading.

He wondered for a moment exactly how long he'd been meeting that someone in the secretive land of dreams. It seemed like forever, and yet never long enough. He'd been an apprentice back then, though his present warrior name was new to his being. "Warrior name". he laughed dryly, reflecting on how he wasn't any sort of warrior at all. In fact, though five of his six senses were abnormally sharp, lacking the ability to see made fighting rather difficult. He could take on most cats one on one, sure, but in a full blown battle . . .

He sighed. At least as long as Lionblaze was around, he'd be decently protected. His brother had always been more than overly protective of him. Though it annoyed Jayfeather to no end, he knew he needed it. His precious brother . .

Brothers. That's why Jayfeather was not walking in the world of dreams this night. He'd learned something dark. Some dangerous, dark secret. One he wished he'd never learned. Maybe he could have gone on blissfully unaware for the rest of his life. But now, here it was. A hellish thing ready to tear apart everything he knew. And it would only be a moment now before everything fell apart and crashed down around him.

He could hear soft pawsteps fast approaching his location. No doubt by now that that someone had picked up his scent long ago. And though Jayfeather had been trying to prepare himself for this for the last hour or so, his heart still shuddered to a grinding halt as Breezepelt's scent washed over him.

Jayfeather could feel the taller cat's breath on his face as he leaned over him. "Jay? What's going on? Why are you out here so late? I thought we were supposed to meet . . ." His voice fell silent as he saw the haunted look in Jayfeather's beautiful blue eyes. "Jay? What's going on?" he reached out a paw to the other tom. Surprise cut through him as the gray medicine cat backed away from his touch.

"J-Jay?"

"I'm . . . I'm sorry Breezepelt . . ." Jayfeather whispered. Painful emotions flickered through him as he thought of never letting Breezepelt touch him again. "Do . . . Do you remember when I told you a few months ago about how Brambleclaw and Squirreflight weren't my real parents?" Jayfeather mewed, hiding his pain as best he could.

"Yes," Breezepelt said.

"I found out who my real parents are. Mine, Lion's, and Holly's . . ."

Breezepelt smiled slightly, "Jay, no matter who they were, rouges, murderers, whatever, I'll love you all the same." He leaned forward to press his nose to Jayfeather's cheek, only to see the other flinch away as if burned.

"No you wouldn't," Jayfeather whispered. "Breezepelt, my mother is Leafpool . . ."

"Ironic."

Jayfeather tried not to pause in his words, this was hard enough. And if he stopped now, he'd never say them. " . . . And my father . . . My father is Crowfeather . . ."

He felt the shock flare out form Breezepelt, and tried not to imagine the look on the other's face. There'd been a reason to not doing this in the dream world. He didn't want to see . . .

"No . . ." Breezepelt's voice was barely audible, "that can't . . ."

"I'm your half-brother, Breezepelt . . ." the gray tom whispered. "So you see . . . We can't . . ."

It had been forever . . . But never long enough . . ."

He choked on the tears leaking out form the corners of his eyes as one of Breezepelt's paws wrapped around his neck. "It doesn't matter . . ." the Windclan cat mewed.

"It does!" Jayfeather sobbed, struggling in the tight grip the other had on him, "It's wrong!"

"Maybe it is . . ." Breezepelt murmured, not loosening his hold in the slightest. "But wasn't it wrong before?" He nuzzled the side of the smaller tom's face, "we agreed on this love, no matter how many wrongs it contained."

The young warrior moved his body in a way that forced Jayfeather to face him. " My love for you was already sinful. But, Jay, since the day I met you, you've become my reason for living, especially after you saved me on the border of Starclan. I live for _you_, Jay . . . And even if we were full blood brothers, it wouldn't change

Anything . . ." He leaned towards the gray tom, "you're the only one who ever made me look at the world differently."

"It's . . . wrong . . ." Jayfeather whispered feebly.

Breezepelt leaned so close to the other that their faces were only a hairs breadth apart. "Even if these eyes can't see me . . . I know this heart still feels me . . ." he smiled, "and it's their own damn fault for not telling us you know."

A small laugh escaped the medicine cat, "yeah . . ."

"And it's not like we could have kits anyway - oww!" Breezepelt rubbed his ear where Jayfeather had hit him. "Hey . . ."

RANDOM AUTHOR RAMBLE

Yay . . . So, back by multiple requests and popular demand, it's a new chapter! Since I wrote the first part almost a year ago (a few days after outcast came out) and wrote this way later, I skipped foreword in time a lot. Sorry. I never meant to do this as a multi chapter thing at all. But I got a few ideas suggested to me and went with it. And with all this lovely snow killing my plans for the weekend, I wrote it. Also, I feel like the tone of the whole thing went from lighthearted fluff to seriousness and angst. ( chapters 3 and 4 will show this more). This is probably due to my past week of reading all of Maladoror's GaaLee fics. Those being a tad bit more morbid and angsty. (okay, maybe a lot more . . .) and hearing rumors of Sunrise more than six days before it's release does me no good either. Some stupid kid who preordered it online is trying to hint at things since the little turd already has it. Uck. But only two more days now! So I wrote this in the time I was fretting over that. By the time it's up however, Sunrise will be out and I'll be taking my lovely ACT's. btw, this chapter, I listened to the songs, "High on Life" and "Here With Me" (by michelle branch) a lot. So they largely inspired it. More chapters on the way!


	3. Chapter 3

Something to Live For: Bonds

Deep in his heart, Lionblaze had always known who he cared for most. Even when they'd been small kits, before he knew the meaning of the word "blind", he'd known. He wanted to protect his brother above all else. It was the desire that fuelled his every move and thought. Become stronger, faster, tougher. All to keep him safe. But then, Firestar had made his brother into a warrior apprentice. He remembered it so clearly, the pain stabbing his heart like the sharpest of claws.

He couldn't let him get hurt. He was _blind _for Starclan's sake! He'd end up killed in his first battle!

And so Lionpaw had prayed with every part of his being. "Do something, anything. Make him a medicine cat, I don't care. Just don't let him be a warrior . . ." Such a selfish wish. And when it came true, the anguish and regret his brother showed . . . Lionpaw broke.

He pushed himself away from his brother. First, using Heatherpaw, and then, using the darkness within himself. He liked the feeling of power, he wouldn't deny it. The sound of battle, the smell of fear, the taste of an enemy's blood. He loved it all. It let him forget his selfishness, and his wrong affections.

And then, _he _showed up. At the gathering, Jaypaw's first, he'd tried to step on Jaypaw's tail. On purpose no less. But before the Windclan cat's paw got within a mouse length of the fluff gray tail, Jaypaw had whisked it out of his reach.

Breezepaw had looked up, slightly astonished. "Good reflexes . . ." he muttered. "He would have made a great warrior."

Jaypaw had looked at the black furred apprentice in a way he'd never looked at anyone before. His sense of emotions told him immediately that the comment had not been meant as a joke. And on every gathering after, he'd followed Breezepaw with his ears. Always.

And then in the mountains, those mountains, Starclan curse them . . . Crossing ravines to deep to comprehend, narrow walkways, uncharted areas, all that oh-so-fun stuff, something happened.

While he was fretting, and loudly expressing his worries, over his brother's safety while walking across a very narrow ledge from behind, it had started.

Breezepaw called out to the cat not even in his own clan, "you can do it Jay!"

Lionblaze cringed from even the mere memory of the nickname the ignorant apprentice had used. But he couldn't deny it. At that moment, a bond had been forged. A bond between the blind cat and the one who believed in him, instead of with the one who never could.

The two had hardly left each other's side in those mountains. And Lionpaw had been relieved when they had to return to their own clans. But he could still feel it. A bond, a forbidden bond lingering between them across borders. A bond that seemed to grow stronger, threatening to tear his brother away from him forever. It was then that he knew. Not long after the eclipse, he knew. He knew just how deep his feelings for his brother ran.

And he hated himself for it. It was more immoral than his affections for Heathertail. More immoral than his lessons from Tigerstar, or his own thirst for blood. It seemed to Lionblaze that he'd just been filling his life with sins and broken rules. And now there was one more. His deep and undeniable love for Jayfeather. A medicine cat . . . Another tom . . . His brother . . .

It was wrong.

Lionblaze rolled over and leapt up, dodging the brunt of his mentors attack. His eyes were glazed and restless, though he knew very well that he was asleep.

Tigerstar padded up to his young trainee. Sheathing his claws, he whacked Lionblaze across the head. Hard. "Stop zoning out. You'll never become leader of your clan at the pace you've been at lately," he growled. His eyes scanned those of the Thunderclan warrior. Eyes that were strangely similar to his own, though they shared no blood. Tigerstar sighed, openly frustrated at the cat's lack of concentration. "Go take a walk," he mewed finally.

Lionblaze looked at him from where he'd been rubbing the newly made bump on his head. "Huh?" He glanced around him at the dark trees and sky of "The Place of No Stars" and back at his mentor. "Here?!"

Tigerstar suppressed a laugh, "yes, here. You're still alive, so if you walk in any direction, you'll reach normal dreams."

"Uh . . . Okay . . ." Lionblaze mewed, still slightly confused, "but what will you do?"

A faint smile crept over Tigerstar's face. It made Lionblaze shiver.

"Hmm, I have some things to take care of. Some stuff I haven't done in awhile." He flicked his tail lazily at the words, but Lionblaze could see the seriousness in his eyes.

"Okay."

So Lionblaze walked. It wasn't long until the stars appeared above him and the scenery became a whole lot brighter. Normal dreams, huh. Lionblaze wondered how many of those he'd ever had. But this was nice. The grass was cool beneath his paws, and the stars were so close they lit the landscape in a soft glow. Maybe he should do this more often.

His ears pricked, hearing sudden voices. It sounded like . . . Laughter. And it reminded him of kits playing. Lionblaze snaked forward along the ground, curious about the noise. Slowly he raised his head above the undergrowth, and felt shock lace through him at what he saw.

Jayfeather was running across the open fields of grass, laughing, and taunting teasingly the cat who ran a few tail lengths behind him. Breezepelt. The Windclan cat leapt into the air, tackling the smaller tom to the ground. They rolled over and over across the grass, with Breezepelt finally pinning the other beneath him.

Lionblaze could only look on in horror as his brother leaned up and licked the Windclan warrior's cheek and whisper something to quiet for him to hear. But Lionblaze knew what those whispered words had been. As more whispers passed between them, he felt his anger beginning to consume him. He watched as Breezepelt whispered something to Jayfeather, burring in the fur across the other's chest. The anger rose.

Lionblaze knew very well by now that the wounds he got from Tigerstar somehow carried over into reality. So he didn't doubt now that in the dream world, he could kill.

RANDOM AUTHOR RAMBLE

Yay! Enter Lionblaze and Tigerstar! (mentally, I'm still calling him Tigerclaw tho. . . ) I like writing Lionblaze a lot actually. He's complex. Which makes him a pain in the butt to write, but it's fun. He reminds me a lot of Gaara somehow (my brain is still reliving parts of Diplomatic Relations and Kindred.) I know incest is bad. Yes, yes. But since we unexpectedly found out that Jay and Breezey were bros (or not so unexpectedly. We suspected all along . . . *sighs*) I thought I could add in my middle man, Lion. After Long Shadows and how him and Jay hid stuff from the evil little Holly, I thought, "daaaww . . .' for no reason whatsoever. So, yup. And plus, being a Harry Potter fan (like that has to do with being a perv . . . Or anything for that matter.) I like twincest. And technically, LionJay is like, two-of-three-triplets-cest. Close enough. Though I support JayBreeze. Woot! Next chapter is slightly random if u don't know where the story's headed, but it's on track!


	4. Chapter 4

Something to Live For: Nightmare

Firestar shivered as he opened his eyes to a forest of dark skies. Hew knew where he was, yes. He'd been here more times than he could count, though never by his own will. Without turning around, he mewed, "what do you want?"

He could hear the dark smile in the other's voice as he answered, "hmm? What do I want? Why do you always ask such mouse-brained questions, kittypet?"

Firestar turned to face the amber eyes of the larger cat, "I'll stop asking them when you stop haunting my nightmares."

Tigerstar laughed, "this is simply a dream, kittypet. I've seen your nightmares. But then again, I'm in most of those too, aren't I."

The Thunderclan leader gazed at him with a haunted look in his eyes, "yes . . ."

"I'm in all of them," Tigerstar mewed, leaning towards the firey tom cat. "all those nightmares about the day I died . . ." He leaned closer, "you regret that day above all others, don't you." his muzzle was just beyond Firestar's ear, "the way I died. All nine lives ripped away from me at once. And you could do _nothing_."

"St-stop it . . ." Firestar whispered. "I've been trying . . .trying so hard to forget that . . ." his voice cracked and he fell silent.

"Why do you regret the fact that you couldn't do anything?" Tigerstar murmured. "If this is just a dream, then you can say it."

Firestar leaned forward and pressed his forehead against the fur of Tigerstar's chest. His green eyes glazed over at the thought, "he has no heartbeat . . ." but he remained where he was, his voice hardly more than a whisper, "because you died . . ."

He paused and looked up at the amber eyes, "why are you here? Why do you keep sending your descendants to kill me?"

"Because I want you to die . . ." Tigerstar mewed without hesitation.

"That's stupid," Firestar murmured, "even if I died, I wouldn't come here. I'd end up in Starclan . . . You know that . . ."

"I do. But I also know that a Starclan cat can cross into this world as well." He pressed his forehead to the Thunderclan cat's, "I want that more than anything . . ."

"Firestar nodded, leaning against Tigerstar's road shoulders. "I know.

This . . . Bond . . . I always knew it ran beyond hate . . . I know it's something we've been unable to break, no matter how much time passes . . ."

"I hate you too," Tigerstar mewed, a slight teasing edge to his voice. He looked up suddenly, his fur standing on edge.

Firstar's eyes met his, "what's wrong?"

"Can't you feel that?" Tigerstar whispered, "such . . . Anger . . ." he motioned with his tail towards the dark trees. "Maybe I shouldn't have let him take a walk. I forgot it was one of _those_ nights . . ."

"What are you talking about?" Firestar asked, confused.

Tigerstar glanced at the Thunderclan leader, "you'll have to go. You'll have to stop hi from doing something he'll regret once he wakes up."

"You too," Firestar said, "you'll be coming with me."

"I can't . . . I can't leave this place." eh shivered as he felt Firestar's tail curl around his.

"You can if I lead you out." he smiled slightly, "Don't let go."

RANDOM AUTHOR RAMBLE

Ahh . . . FireTiger fluff. Because the whole thing sorta takes place on the borders of dreams and Starclan, I can't help but use cats who are already dead. And even though I hated Tig like every Warriors fan does during series one, I remember the moment he died perfectly. I remember where I was, and everything. It was, lets see . . . The day Darkest Hour came out about four years ago. I was laying on my stomach, forced to watch a family movie, and reading in the light of the flickering TV. I remember all nine lives being taken out all at once, and the shock at the whole thing take over me. And I shut the book. That was the only time I ever shut a warriors book out of shock and have to pick it up later. (I did this for HP books tho). The only other deaths that shocked me even on a level slightly close to this would be Feathertail's and Sootfur's. (ah man . . . Sootfur was bad . . .) But after that, I weirdly loved Tigerclaw. And tho I am a FireGray fan, FireTiger is better. When I think of FireTiger (technically, it should be TigerFire, and BreezeJay, but they sound weird.) I think of the line in the fanfic Kindred (GaaLee) I think of when Lee says, "do you need me here?" in the context of simply a conversation and Gaara replies, "Always . . ."

Anywho . . . It won't be until a few weeks after Sunrise until the next chapter. Sorry. I have a certain little Erin Hunter to go see on her tour, as well as ACT's and such. and I'm not too sure how to resolve everything yet. The next chapter will be the last. Maybe . . .


	5. Chapter 5

Something To Live For: Love

Lionblaze crouched low in the undergrowth. His muscles coiled and stretched beneath his fur in anticipation. He could practically taste the blood in his mouth already. Today, no tonight. Tonight, here in the world of dreams, Breezepelt would die. He crouched lower, summoning all his strength. His amber eyes found their mark, the black furred Windclan tom laying in the grass with his brother. He leapt in into the air.

A startled yowl erupted from Breezepelt's throat as Lionblaze's weight hit him full force. He could hear Jayfeather screaming something, though he couldn't make out the words. His mind felt muddled. What the hell was going on? He struggled, his paws flailing wildly at the cat who had pinned him to the ground.

"It's useless!" Lionblaze mewed, his voice dark. "No cat can beat me. I _can't_ be defeated." He lashed out, his claws scoring deep gashes across Breezepelt's chest. "I can't die . . . But you can."

Breezepelt lay where Lionblaze held him, feeling his blood soak into his fur. He was bleeding. How he could he be bleeding? His breathing quickened as he realized that right now, he was in very real danger. "What are you doing?" he whispered. "Warriors aren't supposed to kill . . ."

"And who would know that I did? They'll find you dead in the warriors den inside your own territory. I'll be the last cat they suspect." Lionblaze smiled. "and who would dare tell them otherwise?"

"Stop!"

Lionblaze looked up, his eyes meeting those of his brother's.

"Stop. You can't . . . don't do this . . ." Jayfeather mewed, his voice shaking. "What would that accomplish? All it would give you is the title of Murderer . . ."

"You'd tell? Who'd believe you?" Lionblaze laughed.

"I wouldn't tell anyone," Jayfeather whispered, "I'd just let it eat away at you. And eventually, it would destroy you . . . Just like it did to Hollyleaf . . ."

"Hollyleaf was killed by her own selfishness," Lionblaze growled.

"And what you're doing now isn't selfish?" Jayfeather mewed.

"What if it is?" Lionblaze hissed, "I'll die too? If so, at least I won't let a Windclan cat have you." His eyes grew dark, and his voice dropped to hardly more than a whisper. "Jayfeather, he's . . . a Windclan cat. You're a Thunderclan _medicine cat_.

He's . . . he's your brother . . ." his eyes fell on Breezepelt, pinned beneath him, "and you know that! You were there when Hollyleaf told the clans!"

"I was," Breezepelt mewed, "but I knew before that . . ." he looked strait up into the amber eyes identical to his, " Jayfeather told me right after he told Crowfeather."

A snarl escaped Lionblaze, his gaze whipping around to Jayfeather, "He's your brother!"

"I don't care. I loved him before I knew that, and finding out that we're related didn't change those feelings," Jayfeather said, his voice even.

"Why couldn't it have been me?" Lionblaze's voice was so quiet, he wasn't even sure if his brother heard him. "I was there too. I was always there. Right by your side, protecting you. I was there. . ." his voice broke, "I can't . . . loose you. You're all I have left . . ."

Jayfeather's eyes widened, "what?"

"I've loved you . . . All this time . . . Why couldn't it have been me?"

"You're my brother Lionblaze . . ."

"And so is he!" the anger in the firey warriors voice was overwhelming, " what difference is there between him and me? None! Why couldn't you have chosen me!" he raised his claws over Breezepelt's throat, "even if you hate me for it . . . I won't let him take you!"

"Stop!"

The command was harsh. Lionblaze looked up to see two cats standing on the grass a few fox lengths away. "If you kill him, Lionblaze, you'll regret it your entire life."

"T-Tigerstar . . ." Lionblaze's voice faltered in shock. Wasn't this what he'd been trained to do? Take what he wanted? "Wh-what are you doing here?" it was then that he noticed the other cat with his ghostly mentor. "Firestar?!?!"

The Thunderclan leader gave his warrior a curt nod, "Listen to him, Lionblaze." he looked from Lionblaze to Jayfeather, and then down at the Windclan warrior. "What you claim is love, is only a lie." he watched calmly as anger flared across Lionblaze's face. "If you truly loved him, you'd want him to be happy. Even if it meant letting him go." his eyes clouded, "in that way . . . You're a lot like your mentor, Ashfur. What you feel

now . . . It's not real love."

Tigerstar nodded, "the way the Windclan cat hasn't even really tried to fight

back . . . It's because he knows that you're someone precious to Jayfeather. And he knows that right now, Jayfeather is faced with a choice. And even if that choice ends with the end of their bond, he wont do anything to stop it. That's real love."

"No . . ." Lionblaze looked at his mentor, his eyes clouded, "I love him . . . I really do. It's real . . . It has to be . . ."

"You think it's love," Firestar murmured, 'But it's really just fear. Fear of being left behind, and of loosing him. If you really and truly loved him, you would have done your best to make him a warrior, instead of wishing he could be a medicine cat. If you loved him, you'd let him be with Breezepelt, because that's what he wants."

Lionblaze's grip on the Windclan cat loosened, and he watched as Breezepelt rolled out from under him and rushed to Jayfeather's side. "If I . . . loved him . . . I'd believe in him . . . And his choices . . ."

Jayfeather looked up from where he was licking the wound on Breezepelt's chest. "Lionblaze . . ." he looked from Firestar to his brother, "I'm sorry. But this is the path I've chosen. This is the cat I've chosen. And I will stay on that path, no matter what the consequences might be." He glanced at Firestar, his eyes fierce, "and I'm not afraid to make the same decision my mother almost made."

Firestar smiled, "I'm not asking you to. I know from my own fare share of experiences that a love that crosses borders . . ." he glanced at Tigerstar, " . . . of every kind, is perhaps . . . The strongest bond of them all . . ."

Tigerstar slowly unwound his tail from the Thunderclan leader's. His body quickly began to disappear as he did. "Tonight won't change anything between you and I, kittypet. We both know . . . That that will never be changed, not until the day you die."

"Yes. But I'm afraid I plan to stay alive for a bit longer." Firestar smiled, as the last of the Shadowclan leader faded away. He turned his gaze to Lionblaze, "now, let's say you and I go back home."

"Let him go. If I love him . . . I have to let him go . . ." Lionblaze thought as he walked towards his clan leader, and away from his brother.

Breezepelt looked from the receding figure of Lionblaze, to Jayfeather. "Are . . .are you sure?"

"Sure about what?" Jayfeather murmured, not looking up from where he was cleaning the gashes on Breezepelt's chest.

"Sure about choosing me . . ." Breezepelt whispered. "I have nothing to give you. I can't protect you, like Lionblaze. I can't even be with you more than a few nights each moon . . . And one day, we may even have to fight . . ."

"I don't want any cat's protection," Jayfeather mewed indignantly, continuing to lick blood from Breezepelt's fur. "Especially not yours. I chose you because you always felt like you didn't need to protect me. You believed that I was strong enough, all on my own." he sniffed disdainfully, "and if you start trying to protecting me now, I might just change my mind." he smiled as he saw the horrified look on Breezepelt's face. "And even if we only get to see each other a few nights each moon, I will never regret loving you."

Breezepelt smiled, "I love you too . . ."

RANDOM AUTHOR RAMBLE

Yeah. So this didn't end as well as I'd hoped it too . . . Sunrise more like, killed my brain than inspired it. If any of this spoiled Sunrise for you, not my problem.

Anywho . . . I saw Erin Hunter on her tour! I got my book signed and gave her a folder of my artwork. (all of the art was either FireTiger or JayBreeze slash stuff, so I have yet to find out the repercussions of that.) if you check Erin's tour diary on .com the mention of Darkfire (on april 24th and anywhere else after) is me!!!!! Wahahaha!

Also, I'm writing a little prequel to Something To Live For. JayBreeze centered of course! This was the last chapter btw. So please don't ask for more on this specific story. There will still be more slash form this brain though, obviously.


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